#6 Sign a Relationship is in Trouble

from this blog...

#6 - You Find Yourself Trying To Bargain With God.

If you are currently in a relationship and, every time you pray and sincerely seek the Lord about it you just KNOW it isn't right–then–it isn't right.

I remember a relationship I was in once that I knew I shouldn't be in…but could not figure out why.  She was a great girl, loved Jesus and we enjoyed one another's company–but something just was not right.

Finally I began to bargain with God and say things like, "OK God, if I feel this way in two weeks then I will end it."  Two weeks later, same feeling…so I would say, "OK, what I meant to say was if I REALLY feel this way and a green monkey appears to me the next time I go to Wal Mart…"

Get the picture?

If God says it's wrong then He's not changing His mind.  He's never had to say "oops" or "My bad" in regards to anything.  The reason I held on to the relationship I knew I didn't need to be in was because of my personal struggle with insecurity.  I finally obeyed the Lord and made the painful decision to trust Him instead of the dating deal…and through that experience He led me to establish a solid friendship with and eventually marry the most awesome and incredible woman on the planet.

God is TOTALLY into relationships…marriage was HIS idea–AND–when dating and marriage are done in HIS ways…things just work.

That's all on the subject for now–any relationship questions you would like to see me try to tackle on this site?

#5 Sign a Relationship is in Trouble

from this blog...

#5 - You Hope That Marriage Will Change The Person. 

I say if often around here–marriage is a magnifier…if he/she is that way before marriage then they will REALLY be that way afterwards.

When you decide to get married you need to have an "as is" attitude–that meaning that you are willing to marry that person "as is," and if that person NEVER changes a thing that you will be committed to loving them for the rest of your life.

Too often couples go into a relationship thinking that, once married, things will change…and that is NOT the case.  I can honestly say that I spent a lot of time thinking about this before asking 'Cretia to marry me…I married an awesome woman, but I didn't change her into one–she was already awesome before EVER marrying me!

#4 Sign a Relationship is in Trouble

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#4 - Sex IS The Relationship

If you want to create insecurity, guilt, mistrust and confusion in a relationship…then by all means, have sex. BUT if you want the I Corinthians 13 kind of relationship that honors God then sex MUST be avoided…no matter what.

I have seen couples who really do love Jesus choose to have sex, thus creating a tension in their relationship with God and one another. (I almost said, "fall into the sex trap;" however, people do not trip, fall and accidentally have sex on the way down (oops, sorry about that)…it is a choice.) AND as a result of this choice the relationship no longer becomes about getting to know one another–it becomes about how the couple can manipulate time and circumstances and even other people so that they can get alone to have sex.

Sex is a STRONG temptation! But I Corinthians 10:13 promises us we can handle that temptation. I know it's tough to not have sex before marriage, trust me, Lucretia and I dated for almost four years before getting married!!! BUT…we went into marriage with no regrets in regards to our relationship with one another–it wasn't always easy…but it was the RIGHT thing to do.

#3 Sign a Relationship is in Trouble

from this blog...

#3 - PDA

It is great when couples affirm their love for one another publicly; however, is putting your hands in each others back pockets really that necessary?

PDA usually is prevalent when there is an extremely insecure person (or people) in the relationship. They think that by showing the world that they are practically obsessed with one another that somehow that will solidify the relationship–when it actually causes it to erode because a solid relationship is built on trust–and if trust is not present when two people are with one another–how can it be present with they are apart. (PDA guys usually tend to be overly possessive as well…and PDA girls…like it or not, have a reputation because people think, "If that is what she does in public–what happens in private?)

My advice–go with Ephesians 5:3 on this one!